06 Mark West, Central Coast Chardonnay

I hate grad students. Not you, but most of them. Not all of them. Certainly not the ones pursuing some vocation or scientific research that four years of college just couldn't contain. But, well, you know the ones. The ones who are going to change something--usually everything--with the gentle wave of a 27-page paper. I don't hate them for their ambition or ideals; neither their passion nor their half-knowledge of all Eastern European languages. I don't even mind their blazers or their taste in ironic music. But I do hate them deeply. I hate them because every last one insists on drinking wine and ending up at the same parties I go to endlessly talking about "legs"--as if the whole MFA thing doesn't work out, they could be experts in Beyonce and Betty Grable. It was the one thing that almost kept me from even trying wine. A whole bunch of assholes admiring the oily streaks of alcohol that unbalanced wines leave on the side of the glass like a long lost love. So, assholes, this wine is for you. This is a base wine just bad enough to make people think it's interesting--and she's got great legs. Plus, a nice aroma of golden delicious apples, but the lean, green chlorophyll backbone really dominates. I guess if you swallow fast enough, it tastes pretty good. But all I find myself enjoying are those listless legs, lumbering back and forth, I get it--hot body, invisible mind.